My head hurts.Dont come too close! It's a mess in here.
xiayuping1
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 3/5/1979


Interests: Thinking, feeling, and talking about what other people are thinking and feeling.
Expertise: None
Occupation: Student


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Member Since: 10/29/2002

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Currently Watching
JFK - Director's Cut (Two-Disc Special Edition)
By Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Bacon, Michael Rooker, Gary Oldman
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I remember first seeing JFK when I was in 6th grade. I dont think I really understood all of it, but I just remember being so freaked out that I literally couldn't sleep. Watching it now at the age of 28, I still needed 4 shots of Sake to get through it. So gripping, so disturbing, and...how much of it is true? Too much to sit with...without a drink.


Thursday, August 02, 2007

I used to be a nicer person. So able to see the good in people, able to smooth over minor irritations, able to forgive and let go with the snap of a finger. I think more awareness of my own dark side and ability to feel when things are off has led me to sacrifice some of that good-naturedness. I suppose it's beneficial to be more grounded in a reality and sobriety about myself and human nature, but indeed, it is more work, and I fall far short of perfection. Help me to know how much I have, so I can forgive as I have been forgiven.


Thursday, July 19, 2007

"The Future of Faith in American Politics" - presented by David Gushee, Professor of Christian Ethics

This free seminar will happen at 7:30 tonight at Fuller Seminary's Travis Auditorium. Check it out. Gushee is currently teaching my two-week intensive course called Perspective on Social Ethics and represents the emerging Evangelical "Center". I'm learning a lot from him.


Saturday, July 14, 2007

Currently Reading
Toward an Evangelical Public Policy: Political Strategies for the Health of the Nation
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While I was waiting outside for the barber to open shop yesterday morning, an old, saggy faced white man sat next to me. He was waiting for his barber lady to arrive as well, who works next door to mine. Turns out he's been living in Pasadena since 1958, built his own house near the Rose Bowl. I really enjoy that this city has old folks like this guy around to tell long personal narratives of how the place as changed. At the same time there are the swarms of cholos north of the freeway, yuppie folks around S. Lake, rowdy PCC students, and those engineer types over at CalTech. Love it. Where I grew up, there was no diversity, no character, no culture and history of its own. Just  Jewish desperate housewives, and houses that all looked the same clumped together. I dont think I can live in that environment at this point in my life. I get depressed. I think I'm going through my own realizations about growing up in suburbia, possibly because some of the people I work with talk about it all the time. American Beauty comes up all the time. Funny how suburbia is a sign of success and progress, even a haven for many folks. Many of my childhood memories are of isolation, safety yes, but fantasizing about the "real world" out there (or on TV) and savoring every little chance to get out. Dunno where this is coming from. OK I'll be starting a two week intensive (4 hours of class everyday) course called Perspectives on Social Ethics starting on Monday. Should bring up some uncomfortable thoughts.


Friday, July 13, 2007

It's been a little over a year since we made the full transition to a different church. That change has come with gains and losses, and certainly just brought up a lot of emotions to try and handle in a loving, nonjudgmental way. Its fascinating how two second generation Asian American churches can differ so much in their theology - at an explicit and implicit level. Different pastors, different people, different worship style, different emphases - it's almost like being exposed to a completely different God... - or maybe different sides of the same God.

Making comparisons seems so natural, yet at times feels unhealthy, even spiteful. I think over time though, things have smoothed out - I'm OK tolerating and accepting both the good and bad of each environment without always juxtaposing the two as if wishing to pick and choose aspects to create a closer to perfect place.

There's this Sweet Home Alabama experience of moving from a smaller, more intimate church where you know most of the people to a huge place where you walk in and out of service every week in maybe see someone you know half the time. Yet size offers resources, programs, diversity, etc other benefits. I'm perhaps especially grateful for our small group, which, while continually evolving, is a mature and thoughtful group of folks who are attuned to the nuances of church life and small group dynamics. Definitely growing closer to new people and participating in a different worship service feels like its been a step in line with where Seminary has taken me. Indeed, big change hopefully equals better character, Lord willing.



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